February 22, 2009

Hi-ho, hi-ho... and PAPA!

...It's off to work I go tomorrow. Off to work to earn money, and be without my babies, my new baby girl. Off to work to fight the Atlanta traffic, for the great reward of not having to file for bankruptcy. The joy.

Today I have been a total wreck... and today is the first day in my whole life that I actually would kill to be a stay-at-home mom. I feel like a total jerk leaving little Stella, even though I've been out and about during my maternity leave (thank you, Staci!), so I know she'll be fine. There is just something so final about "returning to work," and the whole idea really has me in the dumps. Not to mention the ungodly lack of sleep that will ensue with my wretched 6am commute, and Miss Stella's go-to-bed-at-11:00-and-wake-up-for-good-at-4am schedule.

Luckily, we have a fantastic nanny who James loves and Stella loves to spit-up on... so we are headed in the right direction. Now, if we can just get Stella to one year of age...

Today at the grocery store, I let James hold the Newman's Own brand salad dressing. He looked at it for a minute, pointed at the picture of Paul Newman on the front, and matter-of-factly exclaimed "Papa!"

James thinks everyone is Papa, but yet, he can correctly identify a picture of my dad on the refrigerator. At the mexican restaurant, the nice 50-something man behind us: "Papa!" The picture of Joseph in James' nativity story book: "Papa!" A man on Sesame Street: "Papa!" [And unfortunately, the gorilla filed under "G" in the ABC book: "Papa!" (sorry, Papa...).] While there is no doubt that James loves his Mia and his Grammy, I think that James has a big, secret affinity for his Papa...even though he's not apt to show it much when Papa is here visiting.

I know that it will be a joyous day when Jason takes James out for a bike ride, their first camping trip, a game of catch. But my eyes fill with tears when i think about my dad taking my son fishing, to play golf, to the hardware store. I think about all the times that Dad took me to do those things, and I feel immeasurably blessed to know that my children will know the same love, the same sense of security and family that only Papa can give.


I love you, Papa...and love to all of our family.

February 16, 2009

Quackies! (And an Ode of Thanksgiving)

Yesterday, the "entire" family went to Tribble Mill park. It's a fantasic park with a massive playground, miles and miles of trails and, of course, ducks on the lake. As we were pulling into the entrance, James exclaims from the backseat, "QUACKIES! QUACKIES! QUACKIES!" His second favorite thing in the world (second only to penguins) are ducks, and just from the sign at the entrance, he knew we were heading to see the ducks. Oh, I love that boy of ours. He is more and more fun with each passing day.

Today I had lunch with long time friend, Barbara, who is about 5 weeks away from having a baby girl. We had a great time, and Stella attended "girls day out" and was exceptionally well-behaved (except for the car ride home). I can't help but think about Barbara and her husband... who will no doubt be fantastic parents...but I think about the journey that they are so very soon to embark upon. Less than sixteen months ago, Jason and I were about to have James, and did not realize what a blessing and a trial that parenthood would be.

If I had known what parenthood actually meant, I would have done the following in preparation and in saying goodbye to the "single" life (please note that while most people refer to the "single life" as life before marriage, I consider life before children the "single life"):
1) slept more while I had the chance, like a bear in hibernation, preparing for a very long cold winter;
2) eaten less, so I would be smaller and have more energy to chase the children, and fit into smaller spaces to fish out toys that have been hidden ever-so-craftily;
3) gone on a thousand more dates with my husband, dates that cannot be accomplished with babies and dates that will not be attained for many years to come, because a sitter is too costly and extravagant (e.g., Six Flags, Italy, camping, out-of-town museums, overnight rendezvous to nearby cities and bars, fancy restaurants...)
4) done absolutely "nothing" more often (e.g., sit in a quiet bookstore, take a long quiet bath, lay on the couch and count the fan revolutions);
5) spent more admiring my pre-baby (now in hindsight, considerably flawless) body, and less time complaining about it;
6) had weekly manicures, pedicures, waxes, massages... because now, what's the point?
Now that I have these sweet babies of mine, I have to include a list of things which I do miss, I would not trade my babies for, even for a second, ever:
1) sleep
2) dieting
3) dates
4) peace and quiet
5) a not-nearly-perfect body
6) manicures, pedicures, massages
(In case you missed it, all of the things I used to do/have.)

Moral of the story:
Enjoy those pre-baby days because they are truly priceless and perfect.
Enjoy those pregnancy days, because you will never be able to protect those babies like you can in the womb.
Enjoy each day with the babies, because time flies. Only fifteen months ago, James was a "baby" and now he's a "person"...and I miss my baby boy so much. Stella Rae is now almost seven weeks old... and I watch everyday as she grows and am out of words to describe the feeling.
Time flies, time is precious..and life without chaos and without these babies is just not a life I wish to have.

February 10, 2009

A Brave New Year

I'm finally getting around to posting some videos. This is a new year with our new girl.

Here's Stella Rae... brand spanking new, our little blue baby. She was born so quickly, with the cord around her neck...she had a little time in ICU because of her oxygen levels.

However and luckily, she was born so fast...it prevented any possible complications. Her oxygen levels rose quickly, and she was in our arms within an hour.

Even now, almost six weeks later... I am still in the same awe of her.

If You're Happy and You Know It...

Good thing he doesn't try and dance with "Sissy" like this... (yet)!

February 8, 2009

Home Alone

Jason left for Memphis this morning for a conference, and I am at home alone with the two babies. Stella appears to have a head cold (probably caught it from me), and James has been fighting the same for the past two days. I am hoping that no one gets over-the-top sick... keep us in your prayers. I may be able to handle lawsuits left and right, but sick babies... I'm a sissy!

PS - Jason - I MISS YOU! Please don't decide to stay in Graceland forever. What would I do? :)

February 3, 2009

Babies at the Doctor

James and Stella went to Lawrenceville Pediatrics for their fifteen month and one month check-ups, respectively. James screamed most of the time in the office - he is terrified of the office, and Jason had to pin him down for his shots. Stella didn't make a peep (but neither did James at that age).

Dr. Lin informed us that we have "big babies" (as if I needed a doc to tell me that - I birthed them, for pete's sake). Both were in 95th percentile for height and weight.

James weighed in at 27.5 pounds, and is 33 inches tall. At least we think. He freaked out on the scale and tried to jump ship when the nurse was measuring him. I'm sure we should give or take a few inches and pounds.

Stella is 11 pounds, 12 ounces, and 22 inches long. Little girl has put on three pounds in three weeks....who says breastmilk is "like water"? I have not heard of water putting on this kind of weight.

Jason went to the doctor with me, and held James while he went crazy. I swear, I do not know what I would do without this husband of mine. Not only does Jason put up with me (and my mouth!), but he loves me, and he loves these children of ours. He is unbelievably helpful, sensitive, confident and sweet. Jason knows how to fill and sterilize bottles, change diapers, bathe babies... and he does it all without me even asking half of the time. Not only that...but when "business" needs to be taken care of, the man steps up and does it.

For example, as to how amazing my husband is: I have a cold, and I was desperate for a nap today. Jason had a conference via the web at 3:00 from home, so I was going to lay down until then so I could watch James and Stella. Well, I woke up at 3:45 completely disoriented (Stella was napping with me)...I rushed out into the living room (thinking that everyone had been kidnapped), and there Jason was... on his computer involved in the web meeting, James nearby with a book in his hand the little CD player blaring "itsy bitsy spider", all the while somehow Jason was reading, typing and singing a helluva rendition of the "spider." He was doing it all at once, doing it shockingly well...and all for the sake of my nap.

Bless that man. Bless him, I love him, I love him, I love him.