May 4, 2009

Flashback: We're Pregnant.

I was driving home from Court today and realized that exactly one year ago tomorrow, I had a giant surprise: that second baby positive pregnancy test. Stella girl.

I remember thinking on May 5, 2008, at approximately 5:45pm:
"Uh, today is May 5th." (I began counting to myself: 29, 30, 31, 32, 33) and then, "Uh... I better take a pregnancy test." I told my husband we needed diapers, and I stealthily sped to Walgreens, acting like we were down to our last one. This was not hard to believe, because ever since Bon Jovi's concert four days earlier, I'd been forgetting everything. Jon Bon Jovi has that effect on one. I came back from Walgreens in a jiffy, and took the test. I took two of them. Back to back. (When you've had one baby, you learn to pee on whatever necessary and when needed, cup or stick, and pronto).

I wearily carried my two little pink sticks, each glowing with two faint lines for "YES!" out into the living room. I carried them, one in each fist, like blazing candles (or firecrackers)... and my eyes skimmed over to my barely six month old in his Exersaucer (the little dear, who still wasn't sleeping all night, mind you) and then my eyes bounced over to my breastpump (I still was doing that medieval torture), and then my eyes rested on my husband, and I thought... this has got to be a crazy joke. Jason looked up at me, and said, "What?" I was thinking, "Oh, buddy, I'll tell you what what what." And I told him, and we both stared quietly at James...and then loudly laughed, because it was the only thing left to do.

So we laughed for nine months. And frankly, we haven't stopped since.

We laughed at the first eight-week ultrasound: "Look at that bean. That's the best looking bean ever." We laughed when we were told, "It's a girl" because we knew James needed a little sister to torment him. We cracked up when my belly grew bigger than humanly possibly, and even when it became covered in stretch marks that the first pregnancy did not leave. I said, "Oh well, there it goes." And Jason said, "What goes? That bikini you were wearing to work everyday?" Good point. We laughed when I farted getting out of the car in my ninth month. And when that baby girl was born, we laughed because she looked like the most beautiful little Chinese man in the world. And we laugh now, because she is so beautiful, and we don't deserve her.
Just now, I told my husband across the table (working on his computer... shut up, it's what we do at night - better than the alternative...)
Me: "Do you know what tomorrow is?"
Him: "Cinco de mayo?"
Me: "Yes. And?"
Blank stare.
Me: "We found out one year ago tomorrow, that we were pregnant with Stella."
He turned pale, and made a weird grunting sound, and said, "You aren't about to spring that on me again are you?"

No, but I cannot help but laugh. That would be a funny one. Stella was by no means, by no stretch of the imagination, an "accident." She was a surprise, yes. But now I know, that she was the best surprise that I have ever had. She is my perfect, precious daughter. Just what we needed, wanted and hoped for. We just didn't know it at the time.

So we laugh when James squeals with delight, "Sisssssssy!" And tries to sneak her a goldfish cracker. Everything is just as it should be.

I love you, Stella girl. You are the best. Cinco de Mayo may be Independence Day for the Mexicans, but for us, it's the beginning of a new world - el Cinco de Stella.


Suzy said...

Awww... M - this was an incredible post. Happy Cinco de Stella!

Sandy said...

Cute pictures and cute story too boot. Back in the day, peeing at home on a stick wasn't the way we found out we were pregnant. After missing a month or so (lots of doctors didn't want you to make apt's until 2 months). You made an appointment, you had blood drawn and after a week you got a phone call. Docs also didn't like you to make apt's before the 2nd month cause many women would miscarry in those wee early stages without knowing it. They didn't go through the trauma and emotion of knowing they were pregnant and knowing they had lost a child. All in all, that part of the system was better. It also made the 9 months of pregnancy shorter. You really didn't know you were until you were 2 or 3 months. I think that might have been easier too; less discussions you just were. That was a fact of life. You held off telling people too until you were past the safe time. You waited until you really needed to were maternity clothes because well they were expensive and not as pretty as your regular clothes. YOu had only a few outfits and all friends shared what we called our fat clothes to get the money worth from them.

Enjoyed your story, it takes me back. Cause I'm probably old enough to be your Mom, lol

Popped in from blogupp, leaving you the url from the blog where your thumbnail appeared this am; I have several blogs though if you care to look around

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary said...

This is such a great post!

I love the way you describe it all, more like a great adventure than drudgery. That's the way we feel too. We had two under two (then three under three, now four under five COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW THIS HAPPENS) and I've felt the same way about each one. It wasn't exactly in my plan, but it's been a great adventure, and I'm so glad that each one of them is here.

Anyway, I'm not sure how I stumbled across your blog but I'm glad to have found it. You're a talented writer!