August 9, 2009

Babies are Not Collectibles


Our friends just announced the arrival of their second baby boy today (congrats to Jay & Jenny!), and instantly, I had to give myself "the" talk.

I have to give myself this little chat every few months, usually when someone I know has a baby. A new baby's arrival sends me flying back to... those precious few hours, when our new baby (James or Stella) was literally, uh, new. And I remember holding James and Stella, all toasty warm and fresh and delicious, just like a loaf of bread. When I think of this feeling/smell/moment, my internal clock starts going tickticktickticktick, and I can feel my eggs trying to leap from my ovaries. Down girls.

Hence, "the" talk.


Babies are not collectibles. Babies become people, and for the most part, people are annoying, so why have more babies. We have two very healthy, sweet, wonderful babies, so why do I need more babies? Babies babies babies. No!

Where would we put another child? We'd have to buy a Yukon or Escalade or some other equally as obnoxious and impossible to park vehicle that we could not afford. And a crib? Both kids are still in cribs....would we actually buy a third? And where would this third kid go? The guest room would no longer be a guest room..which means we'd have even less help and guests than we do now... And diapers - the diaper budget would be in the two hundreds each month. And potty training - potty training three children? And more sleepless nights? Babies babies babies. No!

And breastfeeding! Oh, the humanity! Again? Really! Meredith, could you possibly breastfeed another child? Babies babies babies! No!

And the nanny...the poor, dear nanny we have ....she would run into the street screaming upon the news. Not to mention...one more child means that we would be officially outnumbered. And that thought makes me nervous.

Babies are not collectibles.



See? I'm better. The Atwood baby shop is officially closed. Now, on to Google to research tubal ligation surgery... but first, maybe I'll go look at the newborn pictures of my babies.

4 comments:

Kelly Koenig said...

Welcome to my world- LOL. We have those kind of conversations all the time- where will we put all those cribs? Are we going to get an obnoxiously huge SUV or a minivan? Childcare for 3? 3 in diapers? Potty training 3? Feeding 3? Terrible twos times 3? 3 Driving? 3 in college? It's enough to make your head spin completely off!! But then I think of 3 Christmas mornings and seeing my children light up. I think of 3 hugs and 3 "I love yous" every night. I think of what an amazing gift we've been given. And maybe my head won't spin off...today!

Emilie O. said...

Oh my. I probably shouldn't have read that one.

Meredith said...

Oh, no Emilie.. you are FINE... you are only having one. :)

Meredith said...

For now... you just keep drinking that water at work....and you'll need my "Babies are Not Collectibles" speech also. :)

And don't worry... Kelly (above) is having TRIPLETS! We can all feel sorry for her... NOW! :) Love ya, Kelly!