March 20, 2010


Now, it's quite true that I have more issues than a three-year subscription to Better Homes & Gardens. But you should see my two and a half year old son. He is a rolling riot.

He wants to hold a banana with the peel in a certain place before he will take his first bite. I can cut his pizza, but not to small, or otherwise the plate ends up on the floor, with him foaming at the mouth and screaming "cut it! cut it!" even though the cutting is actually the problem in the first place.

And the shoes and socks... oh, the shoes and socks. He can put on his socks quite well, but has not mastered the art of shoeing. The shoe ends up halfway on his foot, he velcroes it...and then attempts to walk. This frustrates him to no end. So he thinks: if I can't do it, then sure I'm sure as hell not going let anyone else. I try to put his shoes on this feet. To this he revolts, laying on his back and pedaling his legs like a bicycle, screaming "I do it! I do it! Shooooooooes!"

Of course, I am joking about these being true "issues." Clearly, these tantrums/fits/acts of demon are stemming from the fact that he is dying to be independent....and well, he's just not.

The true issues involve poop paintings, and the fact that I found a teeny tiny little poop nugget behind his crib today while fishing for a lost pacifier.

I've got a headcold and New Moon is out "on demand," so I'm going to rest on that one. Because my husband has abandoned me again, this time for California, I might be able to enjoy the vampires in peace, without the scathing remarks about what a lame-o I am.

Night, ya'll.


Suzy said...

I'm sending you virtual hugs (unless you prefer poo-paintings, that is).
Too bad we don't live closer - we could commiserate!

kelly said...

A) we should let James and Spencer have a competition and see who can scream, "I can do it!" the loudest.
B) don't ever start down MY road of letting junior put things in the buggy at Publix. You can hear us all over the store, "I can do it!" and then if we were in the Mr. Mom movie, "Irv, clean up on isle 7!"
C) Enjoy the heck outta those vampires...lame-o comments are just a mask for deep seeded male longings of six pack abs long gone! (At least that's what I tell Michael...)