August 4, 2010

Dueling Puh-Nee-Nos

One of the main issues with having two kids is the toy situation.

If one munchkin has a toy - the other munchkin wants that same toy - no matter what that blasted toy is. Or if it's even a toy. Sissy's got that old shoe? Oh, hell to the no, says James. He wants that old shoe too.

James usually melts into a puddle of goo when Stella takes a toy, screaming No No No and then just crumpling to the floor and turning into tantrum central. We are attempting to teach him to run after her - take back what is his - conquer the world! The whole grab the bull by the horns mentality.

But he'd rather just cuss at the bull. Which is kinda my approach to life, until absolute destruction and butt-kicking is necessary. I guess I can't complain. The monkey's cut from the mold.

In a valiant effort to even out the toy playing field, I have started buying two of everything. Because the kids might as well be twins, I think this is fitting.

Well, tonight... the pint-sized toy pianos arrived. (Insert music of dread and evil thoughts here).

James exclaims, a puh-nee-no!

And I'm like, darn straight. I'm happy. He's happy. Stella gets her very own puh-nee-no too, and she's happy, too.

In summary, everyone is happy for about..uh...sixty-seven seconds.

Then, Stella tries to lift the piano to crack James on the skull, which makes her mad because the darn thing is heavy. James is mad because Stella busted up the perfect OCD alignment of the pianos (they were side-by-side, perfectly in line).

They both start crying. I have had it. I'm thinking, why do I even bother?

Next thing I know, the kids have gotten over their individual fits and decided to turn on me. In the blink of an eye, they convert the puh-nee-nos into convenient step ladders, and I cannot stop the light flickering insanity that ensues. Up down, up down. No no no no, get down from there. I gave up.

Pianos to the garage. Pronto. Bring back the old shoe.

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