October 21, 2010

The Strong Hug

I come from a long line of strong huggers. Same goes for strong handshakes. I was taught to shake a hand, even as a young girl, and not offer my hand like a limp fish. I hate that limp lady handshake. If you are out there teaching your daughters the sissy shake, you better forget her succeeding in any man's world career. I can't imagine meeting opposing counsel in a deposition and offering him the limp wrist girl greeting. Bye bye credibility. One can be a lady and shake a hand. My rant for the day.

Back to the strong hugs. I like bear hugs. Bone crushers. When my children are gasping for breath, I know they've been properly squeezed for the day.

I worked late tonight. Didn't get in to see the kids before bed. But I wandered upstairs to peek at them, and breathe in their little munchkin scents. I was quiet, but James caught me, and whispered, "oh, Mommy." I immediately scooped him up. And just as I started to sink my mama bear claws into him for the brute force hug, he wrapped his baby bone crushing arms around my neck and squeezed the life out of me. First. Beat me at my bear hugging game. I love that boy.

As I peeked in on Stella, she was snorting and snoring the night away. I touched those little chunky cheeks and wished I could wake her up to hear, "hi" and "cheese" and the combo of miscellaneous words that make up her whimsical sentences.

Oftentimes I feel my life and the hustle of the everyday closing in on me. I worry that what remains, what I have left to give at the end of the day, is not enough for the babies, the Expert, my career. All these worries, all the time. But one night missing those baby bedtimes, and I can't bear it. While I may have been in denial about all this motherhood stuff, apparently I have sipped the Kool-aid and I am a mom. All I need is right in front of my face. Finding the time to give credit and attention and focus where it is due...that's the great full court press.

At the end of the day, family is the real deal. Family is the giant smothering bear hug that somehow gets us from one day to the next day...alive.

1 comment:

Emilie O. said...

Beautiful. I sometimes "accidentally" wake up Elliott when I peak in on him if I haven't seen him all day. I just have to smell him and hope he'll reach up for me so I can rock him for a few minutes. You captured that feeling beautifully!