December 5, 2010

Communications

Our internet has been a mess for over a week. I've been stealing wireless from the "Johnson Home Freaks Network" for a week.  I suspect this is the old couple across the street. I think their grandchildren probably set their network up.  Hello.  The name of their network? It's not securitized?

But I thank you, Johnsons Freaks.

So I chat online with my stupid internet provider tonight. I couldn't resist copying and pasting the chat below.  (And no, I did not make up the name of the person).

Thank you for choosing Charter Chat Live! A Customer Care representative from HSD Support will be with you shortly.


You have been connected to TTD Juvy E .


TTD Juvy E : Hello, Meredith. Thank you for contacting Charter Communications Support Team. My name is Juvy. How may I help you today?


Me: This is Meredith [Last Name]. I am the account holder.  My address and phone is: [Address, Phone #]. The account # is: [**********]. Our modem is not working.


TTD Juvy E : I sincerely apologize that your internet service is not working as it should be. I understand that you want uninterrupted access to the service you are subscribed to, and I would be glad to take a look at your account to determine the cause of the problem.

May I have the name on the account?

Me: I just gave you the name on the account.

TTD Juvy E:  Oh yes.  And how can I help you today?

Me:  Again, I just told you. Internet. Modem.

TTD Juvy E:  Right. Your internet is not working. I sincerely apologize that your internet service is not working as it should be. I understand that you want uninterrupted access to the service you are subscribed to, and I would be glad to take a look at your account to determine the cause of the problem.

Me:  Yes, you mentioned that already.


TTD Juvy E:  Yes.

Me: Anyway. I called/chatted Charter on Tuesday and it has not worked since. The rep told me at that point that there was system outage in our area. That is not the case. 

TTD Juvy E : Okay.


TTD Juvy E : I presume that the name on the account is the same as the chatter's name.

Me:  Are you kidding me?

TTD Juvy E:  My mistake, I see your previous response.  How can I help you?

[Long pause while I punch myself in the face].

TTD Juvy E: Right.  I understand. Your internet connection.


Me: Yes. I tried all the troubleshooting. I have called several times. I am chatting on our neighbor's wireless. Clearly our modem is down. Everyone else around seems to have service. I would like an agent out tomorrow, as I work from home sometimes, and this is interfering with my job. I also expect a proration of fees for the time that it has been down.


TTD Juvy E : Please stay online.


Me: I am on our neighbor's wireless. I can't guarantee I will be online.


TTD Juvy E : When did you start having this problem?


Me: Monday last week.


TTD Juvy E : Please stay online.


TTD Juvy E : Let me check for system maintenance in your area.


TTD Juvy E : Are the modem lights one? Are the modem lights on*?


Currently experiencing network delays, one moment please....


Me: They are blinking, instead of steady.


Network connection re-established.

TTD Juvy E : Please stay online.

TTD Juvy E : Let me a test on your modem. [pause]
I have reset your modem? Check if it is working.  Please be informed too, that there is an outage in your area.
Me: If I test my modem connection as you suggest, I will lose you.  The light is still blinking like it was before. When the modem operates, the blinking light is steady. It's blinking. Therefore, it's not working.

TTD Juvy E : It says there is an outage in your area.

Me: Well that's very convenient. Has there been an outage for a WEEK?!? I guess you guys are very busy with an Gwinnett County area outage. You must be slammed. How are you managing???

TTD Juvy E : The outage has been resolved currently.

TTD Juvy E:  But your account says there is another outage and your house is on it. Would you like me to schedule a technician?

TTD Juvy E : Before I forget, may I confirm that you are the account holder?

[I hit myself in the face again.]

Me:  Juvy.  Yes. I am the account holder.  Again, already established fact in this convo. I would like it fixed. I don't care how it gets fixed. So yes, if a technician is the answer, then yes. Send him on.

TTD Juvy E : Do you prefer it in the morning?

Me: Excuse me?  Do I prefer what in the morning???

TTD Juvy E: Oh, the technician coming out?

Me: Actually afternoon - between 2-6

TTD Juvy E : Okay. Please stay online while I complete the work order.

Me: And please advise about the proration of our bill.

TTD Juvy E : Okay. I can transfer you later to the Billing Department for credit issues, Meredith. Please stay online.

TTD Juvy E : Have you checked your connection at home? I mean right now?

[Again, I hit myself in the face.]

Me:  DJ Juvy E. I don't mean to be rude. IF I check my connection I WILL lose this curren connection that I am stealing, thus losing this conversation and I will have to start over with another one of Charter's finest. Once again. if the connection WORKS, I have a solid light. Right now, the light is still blinking.  It is not working. Just send the technician out.

TTD Juvy E : Okay. No worries.

Currently experiencing network delays, one moment please....

TTD Juvy E : Please be informed that there is a possible charge of $35,00 for the technician's visit but since the problem is clearly not from your end, the technician can waive the fee.

Network connection re-established.

TD Juvy E : Will you be home on the 6th around 8:00 Am to 10 :00 AM?

Me:  First, you might want to add that the technician WILL waive the fee. Not "can".  Second, I think I already said I could only do afternoons. 

TD Juvy E : I stand corrected.

Currently experiencing network delays, one moment please....

TTD Juvy E : The technician will waive the fee.

TTD Juvy E : There are two slots. One is 1:00 to 3:00 and the other is 3:00 to 5:00 PM.  Which one is preferable, Meredith?

Me: 3-5 is fine. Thank you.  Is that tomorrow?

TTD Juvy E : Yes.  You are welcome. Please ensure that someone over the age of 18 is at your home....[deleted specifications here]

Me: Sounds good.

TTD Juvy E : As a recap, you chatted in to ask why your service is down and we have scheduled a technician to check on your connection. Is there anything else I can help you with, before transferring you to Billing Departmet for credit concerns?

Me: Nope that is fine, thank you. No need to transfer me. I will call billing once I receive my invoice because i am sure the technician fee will be on there and I will have to spend another four hours of my life working to remove a $35 charge. Thanks

TTD Juvy E : It is my pleasure to assist you.  Are we all set? Again, my apologies. Thank you for your patience.. We have a survey at the end of this chat session. I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me your feedback on how I handled this session.



.....Really? Do you really want me to complete the survey?

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