December 28, 2010

Farewell 2010

I am saying farewell  to 2010 (hasta luego, good riddance, see ya)... four days early. So I started my resolutions yesterday. New Year's Day resolutions never seem to really pan out for me.  I think it's because I don't like being forced into anything - and the New Year's resolution is a forced change, predictable, a time certain.  Me no like.

Regardless, I always draft a lengthy list of health/fitness resolutions and then a separate list of inner-self/family/peace resolutions. 

Last year, my family/peace list went something like this:
1. Be the best wife I can.
2. Be the best mother I can.
3. Be the best lawyer I can.
4. Sleep more.
5. Eat less.
6. Pray more.
7. Doubt less.
8. Laugh often.
9. Forgive always.

And....2010 was so awesome.  So blessed.  So ridiculously blessed.  Yet, I look at that list and have so many "ughs".  Why? Why? Why?  I started working at a new law firm in January, so the "pray more" and trying to "be the best lawyer I can" seemed to come into play.  But in my little pea brain, that's about it. 

I feel like I messed up the wife, mother, sleep and eat categories.  Definitely botched the eat less part (!).  And I undoubtedly messed up "forgive always." 

Last year, when I added "forgive always", I was thinking more in the line of forgiving others.  This year, I am listing forgiveness as a reminder to forgive myself, give myself a break, pick up, dust off and move on.  2010 was an amazing year!  And I am still giving myself a hard time about every minute detail.  Good grief, Charlie Brown.   Along the lines of forgiveness, I am going to stop trying to be the best at anything.  I'm going to put down my list, and make a vow at boring contentment, perhaps interspersed with a hefty dose of mediocrity, and focus on the roots, the simple things.

Therefore, I give you my list for 2011:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control and
10. Forgiveness

Of course, that list sounds familiar. What a better place to start than with a biblical verse and my family?  I'm sure the Expert, James and Stella could greatly benefit from a little Momma induced joy, patience and self-control.  Afterall, my family is the ones who suffer when I fail.  And everyone suffers when I fail to forgive myself.

I'm not sure if the below quote is actually from Maya Angelou, although the source claims it is (I haven't found the actual attribution and the link's "source" button isn't working - bah), but regardless, and even if penned by some random, angry teenager, I find wisdom in the words.

“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself ...because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. ...If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self....The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that, we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.”

I wish you all a wonderful 2011! Full of peace, joy ....and forgiveness for all the times you lost your mind over crumbs on the floor, chocolate on the walls or dirty dishes in the sink. (Or is that just me?)

See you in the New Year!

1 comment:

chiquita_bob said...

DITTO~ In so many ways ~DITTO~ You couldn't have said it better!