December 21, 2010

A Hero

It takes two to make a baby.  Two people...maybe together or not, or whatever.  For the sake of argument and ignoring some science, let's assume this is true.  But it takes only one person to grow the baby...birth it, feed it, and handle all the real responsibility that goes along with it. 

A man can walk out. Leave the marriage, the children, the burdens - whatever the cliche - throw money at the "problem" and somehow, the world says "we don't like it, but really it's okay (wink wink)." 

But what if a woman leaves?  Who forgives her?  Even now, in 2010, does anyone ever forgive the person who has spent the time bearing the vast majority of the family burden?  And if she packed up, walked out and said "ta ta"?  Would it be longer than 24 hours before the rubberband of responsibility springs her back into robotic action?

I doubt it. 

A hero has no face, no claim of actual self and no place of true whimsy or comfort.   I'm not a hero.  I haven't relinquished the desire for a face, a self and a place of inexplicable comfort.  But some have. Here's to my fellow mothers - my friends, my own mother, my grandmother, and family.  Somedays, I just want to walk out on it all.  I'm sure every mother has, at some point, felt the same (whether keen to admit it or not). 

To all my heroic women - thanks for hanging in there.   Together, I think we can all make this world remain on its axis.  And this time of year, especially.  Whew.  

And yes, Mom...I'm just fine.  No need to send in the police. 
And no, Expert... I'm not leaving.  But I am going to give you a good fight when you decide to show up tonight.

Merry, merry holidays everyone!


Jennifer said...

Been there! More than once I've said, "I'd leave, but where would I go?" And I wouldn't be able to stay gone for long, so what's the point? Next time, I'll just call you and say "Let's grab a drink!"

chiquita_bob said...

Game on!!! If my own expert makes just make one more snide comment about "how much he does", I am going to grind my teeth out of my head. I find myself fantasizing about suffocating my "expert" with a pillow at night. I love him so much, I teeth grinding. Ergh

Mere said...

I'm thinking we need an "I'm a Hero and You're Not" conference. Women. Bitching. And lots of wine. What say ya'll!?