January 19, 2011

Krap on Kourtney

I subscribe to Parenting magazine.  I know.  Ashamed.  I somehow ended up on a free list, and when the shiny envelope came for renewal (promising a free tote bag), I thought, well, I need all the help I can get with this parenting gig.... so I am now a paid subscriber. 

Well, tonight I am standing in the kitchen, and the Expert points to the mail pile and asks, "Kourtney Kardashian is on the cover of this magazine?!?!" 

HA! I am stunned. Whoop, there it is. The Momma of the Year and "Baby Mason". I crack it open and read, and truly, cannot believe how much mockery material she has given me.  For starters, let's point out that she is a celebrity.  And she wears fake eyelashes (and boobs) during the day, with stilettos, and a baby.

And celebrity parents are the most ridiculous kind of parent.  Ah-hem, Gisele.

Second, here's a list of ridiculousness that is, yes, actually in print.  Bye, bye Parenting magazine. I will not numbly write another check to you.

"I make my own baby food."  Um, yeah you do, ole Kourtney.  You have a chef. And free time. And a hair stylist at your house.  And opening up a container of Sprout does not "make baby food" make.

"Mason sleeps in bed with me."  Good for you.  Idiot.

"I have no desire to go out."  Well, that's because you have a nanny and you also have no real job.  And you have lots of money.   Oh, and that's because you go out all the time.  And you named your son after a jar.

"If I'm not working, neither is the nanny."  Bullsh*t.

Okay, I'll stop.  But really?  Cover of Parenting magazine?

Putting celebs on the cover of Shape, SELF, and Women's Health is fine; it's inspirational (arguably).  They are beautiful and make me (arguably) want to keep my hand out of the Goldfish bag. 

But comparing celeb mothers to real world mothers makes me want to vomit.  Nope, wait.  I actually did vomit a little.  I retract that statement.

Hump day, ya'll.  Two more days!

2 comments:

Kelly Koenig said...

Amen, sista! I could be a seriously rockin' mom (with a rockin' body) if I had a personal chef, trainer, stylist, hairdresser, nanny, and more at my disposal. Next time I'm toting around 2 one year old boys who are covered in vomit because they slept in and rolled around in it (and looking forward to a fun date later with all the puke laundry and scrubbing the carpet)and with the other hand trying to get the bath tub going, I will think of dear old Kourtney. I bet she's just as "involved" in her kid's life.

Mere said...

You are one special Momma. I say it all the time - I don't know how those Koenigs are handling three babies! You are a hero, for sure!