February 6, 2011

Poopy Liars

I spent most of the morning blaming my children for pooping and lying about it.  I smelled poop.  "Did you poop?" "Who pooped?"  "I smell it, somebody pooped."

"No, I good," James says.  "No!" says Stella.

I checked diaper after diaper and nothing.

"You guys, I smell poop," I say.  They stare at me.

Only then do I realize that the smell is wafting down from upstairs... where I left Stella's enormous diaper bomb from this morning.  The kids weren't poopy.  It was my fault.

Drat.  So much for the new air fresheners. It's going to take a crew from the EPA to fix this damage.  Once a diaper smell is allowed to permeate the walls... it's all over.

So I get the offending diaper out of the house.  And fifteen minutes later, I still smell it. Stronger.  I think I am losing my mind.

Then James walks by.  WHOA.

"Dude! Did you poop," I ask.

"Yes. I poopy poop poop pooped, Momma!"

Well, here we go again.  At least the kid is honest. 

I never got a Diaper Genie, because newborn diapers just weren't a big deal. Especially breastfed babies.  But man.... toddler diapers.  I feel like even if I had a really nasty, fat uncle who wore diapers...that James and Stella would still out poop him.  Gross-o-rific. Diaper Genie should market to the bigger bombs... I should have bought one of those last year.

Or..... I could start potty training.  I know.  When the Expert returns... one week.

1 comment:

Suzy said...

Word, sister. I do not understand how the combination of cheerios, a PB & J, water, and some fruit equal the offense that comes out of my child's behind. It's downright toxic.