March 21, 2011

Life Overwhelming

Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed to the point of tears.  Parenting, I know, is a large part of the overwhelming sensation. The frustration, the pain.  Parenting, I always blame.  But then I think back to five years ago... I was often overwhelmed to the point of tears back then.

And there were no children around.

And ten years ago. At age 21, I was overwhelmed.  No kids.  No mortgage.  No debt.  No lawyers (ah, the good ole days).  Still frustrated and overwhelmed.

And five years before that. And before that. Still overwhelmed. About something.  I was born with a sense of overwhelming, I am certain.

Hypothesis: I am the type of person who will often find herself overwhelmed, irrespective of the time, place and circumstances. This is because: (a) I have the bad habit of consistently taking on more than I can handle; or because (b) I am just a regular old Chicken Little who is easily overwhelmed.

(a) or (b)?  Who knows.  Probably depends on who you ask.  Most likely, I am a little bit of both.

I am not sure what triggered this post.  Maybe just a self-reminder to step back, be thankful and breathe a little.

Today feels good.

But I know that, in time, I will find another issue to overwhelm me.  So I tried to make a distinction today between life and circumstance. Life as a whole shouldn't overwhelm me. Sometimes I think "oh my life is impossible," when really it's just the present circumstances or period of stress that feels impossible.

My life is wonderful.  The day to day circumstances may smell a little, at times (mostly of poopy diapers). But life? Good.  As for the circumstances that overwhelm me, I want to roll with the punches a little more gracefully, and think about the big picture, the beautiful life, its tapestry as a whole...

I want to be like this, just a little more often.  To appreciate the small gifts, to open my ears and be still.

"If you were a house, this is where you would want to be built. On rock, facing the sea, listening."
        -from the movie, Life as a House 

Happy Monday, everyone.  I hope this week is beautiful.

No comments: